His statement was filled with clear conviction. It's why I love him.
But something about his statement rubbed me the wrong way. It didn't feel like it was coming from a passionate heart, but a closed heart.
Why wasn't our daughter allowed to dress in Goth if she chose to when she was older? It was a hypothetical scenario. Not even one she had expressed. In fact, I couldn't even remember how this whole conversation started.
I just felt sad, frozen. Autumn had already arrived, but the weather outside made no indication of this. Was Autumn announcing herself to me secretly?
"Let it fall. Let it go."
I'm in the second half of my moon cycle, premenstrual with the onset of menses scheduled to occur this Saturday. This is definitely a time when parts of me are lost in shadows. I'm tired; my ligaments are more lax; my skin is dull and rough; there's more bloating, cramping, and emotional lability.
It's harder to love myself during this time. I prefer the energetic, creative, bright, outgoing Kaveri over this version of me. If I were to paint a moon mandala, the first part of my moon cycle would be bright with sunrises, lotuses - lush, green, friendly. In stark contrast, the second half of my moon cycle contains a boggy, bloated, bloody uterus suspended in darkness.
But didn't I birth my daughter from this darkness? Isn't this where all my creativity and compassion are nurtured tenderly in silence and stillness till it's time to give birth?
My husband expressed dissatisfaction at our daughter dressing a certain way in the near future. I now understand my uterine contraction and reaction.
As women, we must honor our moon cycles no matter which phase we are in. My daughter is premenarchal. I am probably knocking on the door to perimenopause. No matter which stage you are in, let your womb wisdom speak to you.
You won't be disappointed...