Category: Fear

A Conversation with Silence

7/19/2018

My dear,

You are safe now. There is nothing to fear. No one to blame. You know what is coming. There are no surprises. Sickness, aging, death. Compassion, beauty, joy.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the story line. Who are the characters? Where does it happen? How and why? Do the details matter that much?

What do you want to remember most? Is it worth the energy to even hold on to these words? Can you let them go, trusting they will return to you in some form: a conversation, a feeling, an image you can’t explain right now but intuitively sense has great meaning?

I have never hidden any part of this Great Mystery from you. You see what you need to see, hear what you need to hear. You aren’t missing out on anything. You are who you are, where you are because it’s where you need to be. There are no accidents.

Trust me on this one. Have I ever disappointed you? Lean into the moment. What would it mean to surrender to the waves?

Would you drown?

Or could you float?

*****

I see you, Mara as doubt in her dreams, as dukkha during the day. She doesn’t need to stay small, sad, scared. She is free, for now. When enough nows add up to eternity, she will be free forever.

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When I Let Go

2/7/2018

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When I let go of the need to fit a poem
On the page of public opinion
The words come
When I let go of the need
To know tomorrow
Today gives me the biggest hug
And asks me to stay
When I let go of the need
For you to be my perfect mirror
You reflect my scars
The secret skin therapy to repair
When I let go of the need
To make you understand
You’ll ask me to explain
A conch-shelled heart will answer

It’s easier to control my daughter’s sweet cravings, my partner’s dissenting opinions, my Mother’s attitude, patients’ diagnoses, future events, public opinions of me than to feel the fear inside. Fear is messy, uncontrollable, a ticking time bomb about to explode, obliterating all traces and notions of Me.

If you could feel fear and deeply listen, what would it say? What does it need? Does it need safety, kindness, understanding, love, acceptance, forgiveness? Who or what would you find standing behind fear?

Ajahn Chah says, “If you let go a little you a will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”

When I let go a little, I hear what fear needs. When I let go a lot, I see compassion and faith standing behind fear. When I let go completely, a conch-shelled heart whispers secrets of the sea.

No wave of experience defines a whole ocean of loving presence.

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A Conversation with Silence

When I Let Go

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