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Free

1/19/2015

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Picture
On The Wings Of An Eagle by Jo Lynch

Throughout your day, do you notice the space, the aura, the light that surrounds you, or do you feel small, as if you are always falling short of someone else’s expectations?

On my commute to work some mornings, I have the luxury of crossing the Dumbarton Bridge.  On one particular morning, I noticed the silhouette of land and water against the morning light.  In that moment, I felt a profound silence and spaciousness that I will never be able to describe with words.

What if I could always live from this place, this space where who I am can never be diminished by the disappointed look on another’s face, by the to do list that never seems end?  What if I could choose to see my reflection in the eyes of those who truly understand me, in the work that has the deepest meaning for me?  Who would I be?

If this concept resonates with you, what gets in the way of you fully inhabiting the space surrounding you?  Maybe it’s guilt, someone in your life keeping you small, or the belief that filling the space is somehow narcissistic and will not allow you to improve those aspects of your personality you dislike.

A teacher once suggested a practice for me.  In a daily gratitude email exchange with a friend, she suggested I list at least one thing that reflected my goodness.  It could be a personal quality or trait, something I was proud of that day, etc.  I realized my reflections weren’t so much about physical attributes or accomplishments, but about heart based connections with myself and others.  This practice is especially useful when I feel like I have failed or fallen short of an expected goal.  It’s like an internal rainbow that appears during or after the rain, and doesn’t require any external validation to remind me of my space, my aura, my light.

But what about the times when fear of unmet expectations (both external and internal) come pouring down on us , and it’s hard to find that rainbow?  May the following guided meditation serve to remind us that we can live from a spacious heart filled with love and the remembrance of who we really are.

Free

My wings will not be clipped by
your sharp looks of disapproval
I will soar to heights
of new understanding
where I am no longer your child
too short to measure
up to your expectations
but an eagle floating on wings
of mindfulness and compassion
in a sky where my vastness
was never in question


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Coloring Outside the Lines

1/1/2015

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Picture
Artwork by Pink Shark Scales

We are born innocent, smiling at whatever delights us until we learn to smile on cue.
  As toddlers , we color outside the lines until rules are implemented and borders are drawn.  Stay inside the lines.  Conform.  Be safe.  I believe a midlife crisis is nothing more than unlived dreams leaking out of our subconscious minds and into our lives. 


What if we don’t have to wait?  What if we listen to the voice inside encouraging us to play, to defy the rules once in awhile?  What if we cook without a recipe, paint without a set picture in mind, write without needing to arrive at a particular destination, meditate without a clue as to what will unfold in a particular sit?  Will the world as we know it fall apart?

One day my nine year old daughter asked me to paint with her.  She printed a vibrant photo of a stargazer from the computer, and informed me that we were both going to paint this photo.  I noticed how I was trying to capture the photo precisely, choosing the same shades of colors, painting the same number of petals and leaves.  In contrast, my daughter was blending colors, adding petals and leaves where none existed , even adding other floral elements.  I found myself adding more color to my own painting, feeling more joy with each brushstroke.

When we were finished, I noticed that my painting looked more like the original picture, while my daughter’s painting felt like a sequel, continuing the story with her own artistic narration.  It reminded me of a favorite poem by Hafiz:


We have not come here to take prisoners
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.
We have not come into this exquisite world
to hold ourselves hostage from love.
Run my dear, From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings,
Run like hell, my dear,
From anyone likely to put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.
We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience of our house
And shout to our reason
"Oh please, oh please
come out and play."
For we have not come here to take prisoners,
Or to confine our wondrous spirits
But to experience ever and ever more deeply
our divine courage, freedom, and Light!


 
We can also apply this concept of play to parenting.  Yoga and mindfulness meditation teacher Jackie Long often teaches mothers the concept of WWW, wild, wacky and wrong.  When our children are first learning a new skill, like riding a bike or multiplication, it can help to imitate an error the child is making and exaggerate it playfully.  For example, we can pretend to fall off our bike or give wrong answers to multiplication problems just to show our children it’s OK to make mistakes.  Sometimes savory dishes, unique works of art, and childhood prodigies are born from playful detours veering off of the expected path.

If coloring outside the lines, experimenting creatively, or devoting more time to play helps us to ‘experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom, and Light’, why is it so hard?  What gets in the way?  Many of us feel that we can’t enjoy a good thing because we don’t deserve it or might lose it.  We might also have difficulty opening to joy because it’s wasteful.  Why aren’t we busier or more productive?

Around the New Year, many folks create New Year’s resolutions.  While this is a genuine step towards improving your life in some way, it is often burdened with a should.  I should quit smoking.  I should get more organized.  I should lose ten pounds, etc.  I invite you to create a resolution that carries some aspect (it doesn’t matter how large or small) of your childhood dreams.  Do you want to pursue an artistic endeavor, spend more time in nature, laugh like you used to before you were introduced to societal conventions?

Try the following meditation.

May the new year support your determination to play.
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    Author

    Kaveri Patel, a woman who is always searching for the wisdom in waves.

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