The knowing that I’ve lived by has always been entangled - burdened by guilt or worry, conditioned to believe things would improve based on commercial ideas of happiness.
It’s exhausting, and it takes a toll on one’s physical, mental, and spiritual health. IFS (internal family systems) therapy is teaching me to love all parts that arise in reaction to other people’s parts, in defense against perceived dangers. Awareness and emptiness meditation practice support the understanding of a moment-to-moment spacious loving presence over a lifetime of misunderstanding.
This path is not simple and straightforward. A does not lead to B, then to C and D linearly. It’s more of a circular and tangled journey, with moments of unentangled knowing. The more moments of unentangled knowing, the more trust. The more trust, the more capacity for a peaceful joy beyond any commercial ideas of happiness.
I can fly beyond the boundaries of what no longer serves me. She trusts me wholeheartedly. We are forever connected, creative, and free.