Fall and winter are generally seasons for introspection. Summer has been that time for me. Rather than calling it a midlife crisis, I’d like to think of it as midlife reflections.
I’ve been thinking about work, family, friends, where I live, hobbies, my place in the web of life. Where do I fit in? Do I belong?
FOMO (fear of missing out) keeps me constantly second guessing choices I’ve made. Maybe things would be better if I changed them up a bit. After all, so and so says it’s working for him/her/them. It’s so easy to become encased in others’ dreams, ideas, values like an old house, an old soul constantly receiving a fresh coat of paint, forgetting what the base coat ever looked or felt like.
I value time for silent reflection more than the most exotic place to visit, the biggest diamond, the prettiest home, sometimes even over relationships I deeply value. It’s where I can hear and remember how to live life from the inside out, what that base coat on this heart feels like, what it’s trying to tell me. I’m writing this on the Arbolejo Overlook of the Chamise trail at Foothills Park where some of these photos were taken.
Love is so much larger than fear, doubt, and comparing mind. I am learning this in the arms of a beloved community, in the wild and vast lap of Mama Earth. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Gate gate para gate para sum gate bodhi swaha!
(Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone far beyond, to Awakening!)