When I let go of the need to fit a poem
On the page of public opinion
The words come
When I let go of the need
To know tomorrow
Today gives me the biggest hug
And asks me to stay
When I let go of the need
For you to be my perfect mirror
You reflect my scars
The secret skin therapy to repair
When I let go of the need
To make you understand
You’ll ask me to explain
A conch-shelled heart will answer
It’s easier to control my daughter’s sweet cravings, my partner’s dissenting opinions, my Mother’s attitude, patients’ diagnoses, future events, public opinions of me than to feel the fear inside. Fear is messy, uncontrollable, a ticking time bomb about to explode, obliterating all traces and notions of Me.
If you could feel fear and deeply listen, what would it say? What does it need? Does it need safety, kindness, understanding, love, acceptance, forgiveness? Who or what would you find standing behind fear?
Ajahn Chah says, “If you let go a little you a will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”
When I let go a little, I hear what fear needs. When I let go a lot, I see compassion and faith standing behind fear. When I let go completely, a conch-shelled heart whispers secrets of the sea.
No wave of experience defines a whole ocean of loving presence.