Motherly Intentions

Just as I aspire to meet all my shadows with patience, understanding, and light, I’d like to meet her shadows with the same loving presence.  I want to be a vast shore her emotional waves can break against anytime, anywhere.  I know that this won’t always be possible, that I will sometimes meet her waves with my own, causing a larger tidal wave than necessary.  During these times, I ask for forgiveness, and the remembrance that other mothers experience this, too.

I want to model imperfection.  When I resort to lecture mode out of anger, fear, or hurt, let me sense the tension within – the loud voices, the urge to act, the shrinking heart.  Let me find the lost look in her eyes, the slumped shoulders, the quivering chin.  Let all these things be a wake up call to remember my own vulnerability, my own need to be Humpty Dumpty sometimes.  We all need to crack open to know the golden yolk inside.  How we crack, when we crack, and how often we crack is all up to us.

She is forever stitched inside the quilt of my heart.  She would only choose fleece or the softest cotton for material.  Playful dolphins, whales, gifts from the sea, books, music that opens the heart and lifts the spirit, vibrant brushstrokes of paint, candy and sweets.  Take up as many squares in this quilted heart as you need to Dear One.

May I learn and grow with you.