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Motherly Intentions

11/16/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture
Just as I aspire to meet all my shadows with patience, understanding, and light, I’d like to meet her shadows with the same loving presence.  I want to be a vast shore her emotional waves can break against anytime, anywhere.  I know that this won’t always be possible, that I will sometimes meet her waves with my own, causing a larger tidal wave than necessary.  During these times, I ask for forgiveness, and the remembrance that other mothers experience this, too.

I want to model imperfection.  When I resort to lecture mode out of anger, fear, or hurt, let me sense the tension within – the loud voices, the urge to act, the shrinking heart.  Let me find the lost look in her eyes, the slumped shoulders, the quivering chin.  Let all these things be a wake up call to remember my own vulnerability, my own need to be Humpty Dumpty sometimes.  We all need to crack open to know the golden yolk inside.  How we crack, when we crack, and how often we crack is all up to us.

She is forever stitched inside the quilt of my heart.  She would only choose fleece or the softest cotton for material.  Playful dolphins, whales, gifts from the sea, books, music that opens the heart and lifts the spirit, vibrant brushstrokes of paint, candy and sweets.  Take up as many squares in this quilted heart as you need to Dear One.

May I learn and grow with you.

2 Comments
Darla link
11/17/2015 11:06:46 am

M'dear Kaveri, thank you for this softly eloquent piece. I recently moved back to the landscape of my birth and am living only two hours away from my mother now; I haven't lived this close in more than 30 years, and for most of those years I lived over a thousand miles away. This was intentional. I think I will print out your lovely encouragement as a reminder to myself to recall and model compassion. Blessings!

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Darla
11/17/2015 11:10:14 am

I suddenly realized that I read your piece from my role as daughter, in my desire to be more present to my own mother. Except that, perhaps, you probably wrote it as motherly intentions to your daughter. I love how it speaks to many levels of the mother-daughter relationship. :)

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    Kaveri Patel, a woman who is always searching for the wisdom in waves.

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