Image by Kaveri
Bathed and baptized by the breath
Placing a hand on the heart
Forgiving the shortcomings
Celebrating the loving wins
Remembering
It was not all up to me
Waxing, waning, crescent, full
Mirrored
In all of my moon phases
By the One who knows me best
Laying down the burden
To begin again
There has been a recent rupture in a relationship. Acknowledging unskillful, speech and action, I have tried to reach out several times to repair the rupture, to fix the problem.
What am I so afraid of?
I’m reminded of previous relationships where I carried the burden of guilt and blame alone, abandoned by the other, never having the opportunity to understand what I did that was so unforgivable. Was I that bad?
It feels like I’ve gained at least 10 pounds in the last few weeks, but it’s not a healthy weight. I carry the other being’s silence like a stone in my heart, evidence that I will never rise again to love and be loved.
Is this true?
With the passage of the solar and lunar eclipses, it feels like what was once lost in shadows is finally being brought to the light of loving awareness.
Bathed and baptized by the breath in meditation, placing a hand on my heart, I enter a holy lament. Forgiving the shortcomings, celebrating the loving wins, I remember it was not all up to me. Mirrored in all of my moon phases by the One who knows me best, I am asked to gently lay down the burden of guilt and blame, and begin again.
I am never abandoned until I abandoned myself.
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